cuz .........i lack productiveness

yeh todays sunday
and im sitting here in the dine table
after my cereal

i was going to be productive for the past 2 days
and i just couldnt because i had to do some youtubing
and blogging and naver-ing and stuff....

i can make up a hundred different excuses for it
but i guess its all lame. im always so- time consuming
i lackkkk productiveness i never stay true to what i plan to do

this is like my main problem i dont prioritise stuff
like even though i didnt have anything on saturday
i didnt bother to do my english essay and some catch up on music composition
wtf yeah i hate myself im so NOT efficient

now how am i going cope in IByears? i need to get 45/45 well that my hope cuz i want to do whatever i want to do
apparently only 0.01% of IB-ians achieve 45 but its nice to have a big dream
cuz a lot of people say 'oh that wasnt as hard as i thought' afterall...

but i hate just aiming to be the top
i mean...whats the point? i aim for the future not to
like beat everyone and be proud of myself
im not like those korean kids who try so hard to be recognised
to earn reputation?? amongst their age group and parents

i try to stay cool even though 'asian= not cool'
but i'm at least cool enough to ignore that ...
not going to be a chav!!
...but some people might think i am.

oh and lllloooook at this

this is what i found on the net couple of hours ago
its the result of this poll thing with the topic 'the most regretful thing in my life'
and surprisingly from teens to 50s (women) majority of them answered
'i shouldve studied more'...

and wow am i going to think like that when i grow up??
nooooo im not going to regret myself and mourn
not to be defiled at the first place im going to study while i can
dont want to be like someone who always cherish their past
and like cry because they want to go back

im going to stand up strong for myself
so starting from now

im going to do my english essay.
ciao :-)

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