cuz of ..work...hard

yup so I'm employed at fasta pasta @ harbour town as a wait person now
and like........damn it's hardcore.

I only served complimentary breads, little side dishes but I'm like already dead and I'm not looking forward to go back there. But I'll have to on friday....I have no choice cuz nobody else wants me.

So I did a bit of cleaning up tables and serving, but like...why am I scared? Like the customers, when they ask me things that I don't really know how to deal with, I freeze and murmur. My manager's like........um yeah don't do that next time cos that could be a bit rude....yeah i know that.

and like people there are old. not like old old but around about 30ish? and I'm a teen. So i feel lonely and disregarded....I feel like if I'm messing everything up and it feels bad. I feel so little cos i have to wear this old uniform that my manager used to wear and its XXL. I also have to put the apron on but its like so old -_- and long................

i still don't know how much i'm getting paid and it feels like its going to be around $9......so i ONLY got what 27 bucks today. and i feel exhausted. great.

cuz I'm having an interview soon!

yeah~ that's right I'm having a job interview in like 5 minutes! I'm kinda scared cos I have never been in an interview before!
I hope I do well cos if I don't I'll be a loser at home. I desperately need to work! I need to earn money for myself! <33 if I get the job I'll be so happy that I would go crazy!! Haha wish me luck needmoreroom.com!

cuz of......i want to be employed!!!!

I want to work desperately... I want to earn money and save up so I could like use it in aiding for my future journey to europe <33333 but i've been getting reject mails n.n
why am i like this..... other girls in my school get employed straight away after applying for it and i'm like.......a loser...........

i literally tried everywhere from like fast food chains to like book store....bakery....etc but theyre always like... "soz"

울고 싶어라~

cuz of i was soooooooo sick yesterday

so i was super sick yesterday like i was crying because i was really sick. i think it was a summer flu some sort of thing and i even wanted to do drugs cos i couldnt bare with the pain.
my limbs felt like as if it was ripping slowly from inside out and i literally wanted to chop it off..

my mum was like oh god you're boiling and she was amazed cos i was never sick like this before... i was shivering cos it was really cold but my mum kept on wiping me with a cold towel to drop my temperature....

and today i'm kinda feeling better and i think i'm already alright but my legs are starting to hurt again and i wonder if i'll be able to walk properly....

i dont like this at all...........i hate being sick......i hate being retarded